“It was like the curtains opened and the sun came out again”

As we mark Carers Week, Kenton’s Lawrence Leigh shares how support from St Luke’s Hospice helped him care for his mother Sadie, who is living with dementia.

When Lawrence Leigh returned from living overseas to care for his mother Sadie in Kenton, he never imagined how difficult life would become.

Sadie, who is living with late-stage dementia, had always feared ending up in a care home. As a child, Lawrence promised he would look after her himself one day.

“I gave my word and I stand by my word,” said Lawrence, now 61.

Sadie was living alone in sheltered accommodation in Kenton. Concerns were raised about her wellbeing after her dementia worsened, and she began struggling to cope day to day.

Within 24 hours of hearing how serious things had become, Lawrence boarded a plane from Thailand and moved back to London.

He said the flat was in a very poor state, there was very little food in the house and it was clear his mother was no longer coping on her own.

Since then, Lawrence has cared for his mother around the clock.

But last summer, after Sadie became seriously ill with flu and lost much of her mobility, the pressure on Lawrence became overwhelming.

“She really needed to be in bed full time,” he explained. “I was getting bills for care that I simply couldn’t afford. I was exhausted, depressed and honestly at the end of my rope.”

Lawrence said everything changed when he was introduced to Beverly, a Clinical Nurse Specialist with the Brent Community Team at St Luke’s Hospice.

“She was like an angel,” he said. “Once I met Bev, I started to believe there are decent people again.

“She listened to me. She understood the situation straight away and said, ‘From now on, I’m going to take care of it.’”

St Luke’s helped Lawrence navigate the support available so Sadie could remain at home in familiar surroundings with him beside her.

The hospice also helped with practical support, advice and respite care, giving Lawrence time to rest and look after his own wellbeing while continuing to care for his mother.

“It was like the curtains opened and the sun came out again, and I could see a way forward,” Lawrence said.

“All my mum really needs is to be washed and fed. I do everything else — day and night, seven days a week.

“But Bev told me: ‘You can’t do this 24 hours a day. You need respite. You need time to become human again.’”

Lawrence now attends yoga and meditation sessions through St Luke’s support services and says his life has been transformed.

“I feel happy again,” he said. “I meditate every day. I’ve rejoined society.

“Thank God for St Luke’s. Thank God for Bev. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know what would have happened.”